


red pandering

by SylphOfLight



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fluff, M/M, okay most of this fic is just jean rambling, they visit a zoo, warning: contains red pandas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-13
Updated: 2014-02-13
Packaged: 2018-01-12 05:32:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1182501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SylphOfLight/pseuds/SylphOfLight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When going on holiday, Jean has made sure of two things:</p><p>1. Never go to a hot country where your pasty skin can't take any temperatures higher than 30°C.</p><p>2. Don't let red pandas cock-block you from your hot freckled unfairly attractive boyfriend.</p><p>Seriously though, fuck those red pandas.</p>
            </blockquote>





	red pandering

**Author's Note:**

  * For [piratecats](https://archiveofourown.org/users/piratecats/gifts).



 

 

Bloody red pandas.

 

 

Jean didn’t really have anything against them, they were cute and fluffy and they made Marco smile, so they were okay usually, but right now, he was considering declaring war on the adorable species, as they were the only thing standing between him and an air-conditioned hotel room.

 

Jean regretted his decision to take a holiday to China around the time he stepped out of the airport and realised it was going to be hotter than the deepest depths of hell. The weather was obnoxiously humid, clouds vanishing from sight, just like his will to live. The sun refused to stop shining in his eyes, regardless of his fancy (totally fake) designer sunglasses. Fuck you too, cheap Chinese labour. They were currently in Beijing Zoo, as per Marco’s request, definitely not Jean, nope, because he was Cool with a capital C and certainly did not get excited at the prospect of petting furry animals, what, absolutely not.

 

Oh god, he was rambling again. He blamed the heat. And the confusing Chinese characters everywhere, befuddling him to an unbelievable extent. And the fact that had didn’t have any caffeine in his system. Because seriously, where was the nearest Starbucks? Okay, digressing again. To save him from his desperate rambling to assure his _own brain_ that he totally wasn’t a loser, he decided to find Marco.

 

He spotted his boyfriend leaning over the barrier of the red panda enclosure, treading his fingers through the wire mesh. Jean leaned over and nudged a freckled arm affectionately. Normally he would press up against him or wind an arm around Marco’s shoulders, but holy shit it was hot as balls and body contact was totally not an option right now.

 

Marco turned round, eyes bright like a little kid, sweat dripping from his hair, blush tinting his freckles but _damn him_ he still managed to look attractive. Curse his genes.

 

‘Look!  Jean, they’re so cute, if you loved me you would buy me one for a pet, come on man, you’ve gotta prove yourself as a boyfriend, get me a red panda–’ Marco chattered away, perfectly aware that Jean had already tuned out.

 

Seriously, how was it possible to look so cute? Jean had been told on multiple occasions that his resting face looked ‘ _not unlike a serial murderer, but like a cute one, but still someone who looks like they wouldn’t think twice about stabbing you_ ’, (thank you Marco, for that particular comment), and yet his boyfriend managed to look all ridiculously adorable with his freckles pooling in his dimples, and his long eyelashes and sweat gleaning in his collarbones and his tongue darting out to lick his lips, all unfairly sexy and okay woah steady there Jean do not carry on that thought in public, unless you want to be banned from this zoo due to inappropriate behaviour and have an awkward boner for everyone in China to laugh at.

 

So, when they finally finished looking at all of the animals (and Marco had finished buying the really overpriced cuddly red panda toy from the gift shop and Jean had bought a shitty electric hand fan to try to control his ever-rising body temperature), they were finally **_finally_** on their way back to their hotel.

 

They were nearly to their room (and Jean could _feel_ the glorious air conditioner) when Marco decided to break the comfortable silence that had settled between the two.

 

‘Do you know the difference between a red panda and a complex sentence?’

 

‘Marco, I was the one who told you that joke,’ Jean replied, raising an eyebrow at his boyfriend.

 

‘Ugh, fine. But you know red pandas are endangered, right?’

 

‘Uh, yeah?’ Jean answered, confused. ‘Do you want to adopt one or something? Because we can totally do that. When we, you know, actually get into our room, our sweet air-conditioned room with internet access. And an air conditioner.’

 

Marco shook his head, a playful smirk plastered across his face. ‘Yeah, but they’re not the only thing that’s at risk here. I’m pretty sure you’d be considered as endangered as well.’

 

‘…Why?’

 

‘Well, because,’ Marco grinned, turning round to unlock their room’s door, ‘you’re one of a kind!’

 

Oh my god. How did Jean not see that coming. Oh my god.

 

‘Oh my god, Marco.’

 

‘Yeah okay that was kinda bad. I suppose I’m more like a red panda than you.’

 

Jean felt the corners of his mouth pull up, and decided to play along. ‘A red panda, eh? Well I guess your tail isn’t the only thing that’s long,’ He joked, eyebrows waggling.

 

Marco laughed, a gorgeous noise that Jean had no shame admitting he’d go a hell of a long way to hear more of. He opened the door and nodded to the bed.

 

‘I suppose we’d better see if that fact is scientifically correct,’ Marco purred, and holy shit that was sexy what the fuck did Jean ever do to deserve such a great boyfriend oh my god.

 

And as freckled hand pulled him to the bed, pushed him down and started to get busy unbuttoning his shirt, Jean’s mind thought one thing before focusing solely on the gorgeous sight on top of him.

 

 

Okay, so maybe red pandas weren’t so bad after all.

**Author's Note:**

> the joke about the difference between a red panda and a complete sentence goes something like this:
> 
> -What's the difference between a red panda and a complex sentence?
> 
> -A red panda has claws at the end of its paws, but a complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause!
> 
> [booing intensifies]


End file.
